Principles of Good Relationship Reprise

As we completed our OT survey with the book of Malachi, we discussed our responsibility to safeguard and prepare future generations with wisdom and righteousness (Mal 4.6; Luk 1.17). Taking up that responsibility means, among other things, teaching our biological and spiritual children the principles of good relationship.

The Principles of Good Relationship (i.e., of Authentic Fellowship)

1. Attach yourself to godly mentors who can disciple you in the skills of good relationship (Titus 2.4; Prov 13.20). Good relationship, like good thinking, is a skill that must be learned.

2. Recognize God as the ultimate standard of good relationship (Exo. 34.6; Prov 6.16-19; 16.7). The Trinity is relational from eternity, and as omniscient Creator, God knows perfectly what makes human relationship work.

3. Receive Christ. Only Christ can give us the necessary grace (power) to become “others oriented” (John 7.38; Philip. 2.4; 1John 3.23). A person who has learned this others-orientation will be known as a giver, not a taker.

4. Decide to pursue relationships for redemptive rather than selfish motives (Prov 14.20-21, 31; 16.2; 19.6-7).

5. Tap into God’s relational insight by prayer and study of Scripture. Only He fully understands what’s going on inside the other person (Prov 15.11; 20.27; John 2.25). If we humbly ask God’s help with a relationship, He takes us into His confidence (Prov 3.32).

6. Prioritize people over things (Prov. 23.6-8; Luke 16.9).

7. Good relationship begins with my good character (Prov, 22.11).

8. “Forgive others as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3.13). [Thanks for prompting this one, Linda!]

9. Befriend the whole person, including their spirit (Eph. 5.19). [Thanks Rachel, for prompting this one.]

10. Live accountably under authority (Eph. 5.21). [Thanks Rachel, for prompting this one.]

11. Give and receive counsel. Good relationship is characterized by this discipline (Prov. 27.9).

12. A good relationship, like a good surgeon, causes pain when necessary (Prov. 27.6). Share a painful truth with your friend when love demands it.

13. Persist in your loyalty. Faithfulness to your friends is essential even when they err (Job 6.14; Prov. 17.17; 27.10). Friendship progresses to a point at which it is tantamount to a covenant, even if an unspoken one, and that covenant should not be broken (Psa 55.12-21).

14. Make sacrifices. The best relationships are built on a mountain of little sacrifices, made consistently over time, and will sometimes require ultimate sacrifice (John 15.13; 1John 3.16).

15. Practice the art of listening well (Psa. 22.24; Prov. 1.5; 4.20; 12.15; 15.31; 18.13; 19.20,27; 20.12). This is one of the sacrifices of good relationship.

16. Be honest, tell the truth (Prov. 6.16-19; 12.19,22; 13.5; 16.13; 24.26).

17. Practice the progression of intimacy. Servanthood precedes friendship, authentic friendship precedes brotherhood (John 15.13; 20.17).

18. Risk transparency. Relationship can’t go deep if we never confess our failings (Prov. 28.13). We value most those friends who are “real.”

19. Learn to recognize a relational dead end; some relationships should never begin (Prov. 12.26; 22.24,25).

Please share your comments and add to this list ------>

PSCC Interns Participate in BC2AD

It's been a fantastic blessing having the Puget Sound Christian Center summer interns participate in our Friday session of BC2AD. Congratulations to them all for learning the Greek alphabet song and earning their Krispe Kremes!

Abigail Joy Gunn born today!

At 12:30 p.m. today, Sonia gave birth to a beautiful 8 lb., 15 oz. girl. Baby is doing well, and Sonia and James are ecstatic! Abigail’s conception was nearly miraculous and certainly the result of many prayers. I believe God has special redemptive plans for this child. May your blessing, Holy Father, continue to rest upon her and increase!

The Spirit Not Yet Given???

John 7.37 On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. 38 Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” 39 By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified.

The Spirit of God has been active in the earth at least since Genesis 1.2. Since the time of Adam, people had to enter the Kingdom by being born again of the Spirit just like us. Before the time of Jesus, people were miraculously healed and prophets prophesied. How can John say that “the Spirit had not [yet] been given”? In what possible sense had the Spirit not been given yet?

Post your comments here! ----->

Take Up Your Cross?

You know Aunt Bruinhilda, and how she always pinches my cheek and says, "My how you've grown," even though I'm 40 years old? I just can't hardly stand it, but I guess she's just the cross I have to bear...

We're familiar with the saying of Jesus in Luke 9.23, "take up your cross," but what does it mean? Does it just mean that we should bear up under the little irritations of life?

Post your comments and insights here!

The Prayer of Faith and Healing In James 5

Thanks, fellow students, for wonderful insights in tonight's discussion. If you're interested in a technical study on the prayer of faith in James 5, please download my article on this topic:

The Prayer of Faith and Healing In James 5

Faith Without Doubt

In Mark 11, Jesus said,

23"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. 24Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

How does a person attain this faith without doubt? Is such a faith even possible? Share your comments with us!

Receive The Holy Spirit

I'm convinced that the fourth imperative of the Great Commission, the command of Jesus to "receive the Holy Spirit," has become a great omission for much of the church. We have agreed that John 2.22 is smack in the middle of a Great Commission context: in the preceding verse, Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." It is also clear to all that the active presence of the Holy Spirit was — and is — prerequisite to anyone being able to fulfill the Great Commission. Nevertheless, the precise significance of Jesus breathing upon the disciples and telling them "Receive..." has been much debated.


Many have argued over whether the Spirit was given twice, once on this occasion before Christ's ascension, and again on Pentecost after Christ's ascension. Some have even suggested that John's gospel contradicts Acts, and that the Spirit was really given before Pentecost. All such arguments, sane and foolish, are settled for me by the realization that this was not a giving but a receiving of the Spirit. It's true that the act of Jesus breathing upon the disciples was significant. This is the only place in the NT where this Gk word breathe upon is used, but it appears in the LXX version of the OT in Gen. 2.7 and Eze. 37.9. By this act, Jesus was communicating that all the life-giving presence of the Spirit would come from Himself as the Source. But still, the most important part of this verse is Christ's explicit command: "Receive the Holy Spirit."


Remember that Hebraic thought is distinctly relational. By His command, Jesus called His disciples into a conscious, volitional relationship with the Holy Spirit. When the Spirit was given is irrelevant to this command. The Spirit was already given to God's people in some aspects of His ministry, but was not yet given in the sense Jesus spoke of in John 7.38,39. That was beside the point at this moment in Christ's ministry to the disciples. Christ's command was an appeal to the will, pure and simple, and He makes the same appeal to all His disciples today: "Say yes to a conscious, purposeful relationship with the Holy Spirit."


Don't take this lightly. Jesus said, "As the Father sent Me, I also send you." The Father sent Jesus out from His natural dwelling place and into a fatally hostile environment. The disciples who said Yes to the Holy Spirit were led to crosses, shipwrecks and beheadings for the sake of the gospel. There is no guarantee that saying Yes to the Spirit today will lead us into a less sacrificial life than that of the first Christians. On the contrary, volitionally receiving the Holy Spirit is apt to cost us dearly with regard to our own agenda and personal comforts. But, fellow believers, do we have a choice? (Luk. 9.23)

Battlefield Redemption: Why?

We didn't get to our warm up question this week, so will carry it over to next week's class. The question is related to The Problem of Evil, and it's this: Why did God choose to work out His redemptive plan in a war environment? In other words, why didn't God bind Satan at the outset of the Great Commission so that we could evangelize without resistance from the Satanic hosts? Please share your thoughts with our blog!

The Kingdom of God: Past, Present or Future?

Our working definition for The Kingdom of God is: the rule of God. On the basis of that definition, when did the Kingdom begin?

We all agree that some NT passages refer to a future (coming) realization of the Kingdom. Nevertheless, God's reign was recognized since OT times:

"...the LORD Almighty, who is enthroned between the cherubim." (1Sa 4.4)
"The LORD reigns!" (1Ch 16.31)
"The One enthroned in heaven laughs..." (Ps 2.4)
"The LORD reigns forever, he has established his throne for judgment." (Ps 97)
"The Lord reigns, he is robed in majesty." (Ps 93.1)
"Say among the nations, 'The LORD reigns.'" (Ps 96.10)
"The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad." (Ps 97.1)
"The LORD reigns forever..." (Ps 146.10)
"O LORD Almighty, God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth." (Isa 37.16)
"You, O Lord, reign forever, your throne endures from generation to generation." (Lam 5.19)

On the basis of such passages, we recognize that the Kingdom of God has, at least in some sense, existed since the beginning. I welcome your comments!